Anomaly
by Dragon2920
Summary: There aren't a lot of reasonable thoughts to be thought when you're reincarnated incorrectly, particularly into a story with bigger-than-life elements. There was a plot, a specific way things had to go in order to reach a happy ending. I was an anomaly. A glitch in the system. I was not supposed to exist. And I was fine with that. [OC-insert]
1. Here We Go Again

**I think this story, my first story, is a little overdue considering how long I've had this account. I'm also probably being a bit ambitious, posting two stories at once (for those who are interested, check out my account for my other story. It's a Pokémon fic called Amaranth, it'd be awesome if you checked it out) but I guess I'll keep going and see how this ends up.**

 **Enjoy!**

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There aren't a lot of reasonable thoughts to be thought when you're reincarnated incorrectly. Sure, there's the obvious ' _what the hell is happening?_ ' or the understandable ' _holy shit, no way_ '.

There's the denial which is to be expected; ' _this is not possible, there has to be some sort of scientific explanation, right?_ ' or maybe, if you're more religious, ' _how the hell did the gods/God fuck this up so badly?_ '. All these thoughts and more came to me later on.

But, if I'm honest, my first thought as soon as I realised what was going on was something along the lines of this; ' _I'm gonna have to do puberty all over again, aren't I_ '.

Followed closely by; ' _I just witnessed the miracle of birth from the wrong end and I've only lived for 2 minutes but I am significantly traumatised for the rest of my second life._ '

When I look back on that day, I realise I was in shock. I was silent and still as I was passed around from person to person, still trying to process that this was real and was actually happening to me. A bunch of blurry, unfamiliar faces faded in and out of my vision as they seemed to try and garner some sort of reaction. What a creepy baby I must've been at first. It wasn't until my vision cleared up a little and I was placed in the arms of a very much familiar person that I began to react.

I honestly cannot say if Uzumaki Kushina was happy that she managed to get the first reaction or if she was scared out of her wits thinking she broke me as I began to freak the fuck out.

I didn't cry. Oh no, no tears here. I may be half an hour old physically but I was mentally 22 and stubborn as hell and I was not going to let this body get the best of me. I survived hormones the first time, I would survive this.

Instead, I opened my mouth as wide as I could and screamed bloody murder.

I'd seen Naruto, obsessed over it in my early teens even, and I recognised the protagonist's mother with no small degree of horror and revelation.

I couldn't form words out loud yet but there were plenty unfavourable ones running through my head at that moment.

Kushina's face vanished from my sight and I was passed back into the arms of who I would later recognise as my new mother.

She looked a little familiar. Not her face exactly, but her features reminded me of someone.

Black hair, dark eyes, dark clothing...

Wait a second...

No...

The universe couldn't be that cruel, right?

I'd been good in my first life. I mean, sure, I recognise I was kind of childish, I swore constantly with all the decency of a pirate and was an absolute nightmare of a brat until I hit around 17 but I didn't kill anyone! I got decent grades! I did my chores! Didn't that count for anything?!

There were other black-haired, dark-eyed people in the village, right? Like... uh... ooh! Shikamaru! That's it! I'm probably just a Nara! Or maybe just some random civilian family with similar hair and eye colour!

It wasn't until a little while later, when I had finally stopped screaming — I didn't really account for the lack of oxygen that comes with screaming constantly — and a doctor stepped forward to talk to my new mum that my worst fears were confirmed.

Now, I was born in Adelaide, South Australia. The only fluent language I spoke was English, but I'd been learning Japanese in school since I was about 8. Sheer luck or fate, I don't know, but it was one of my favourite subjects as I developed a mild interest in languages. It meant that even after I graduated high school, I made sure to remember the basics in case I ever decided to study it again.

This helped me a lot later on when it came to learning to communicate with everyone around me and meant that I could still pick out a couple of words even through the hysterical blubbering mess that was my train of thought, words like 'home', 'days', 'father' and a name he addressed her by.

Uchiha-san.

I was a fucking Uchiha.

Seriously?! The universe was just fucking with me at this point!

Unfortunately, I was still a bit out of breath so I had to settle for glaring at everyone in the room. Oh yes, I was angry at the universe, at life and they were all going to know it.

And they did.

I was the most annoying, the most harrowing, most reckless, loud, grubby, little brat this world had ever seen. Well, at least to most. I learnt quickly that my mother was a jounin and was not to be pushed around.

My father, on the other hand, got the brunt of it. He was a ninja, as I quickly learnt, who had married into the Uchiha clan. There was nothing particularly special about him. He was a good ninja, a chuunin, and he'd alternate between spending a couple of weeks dedicating himself to being a part of my life and going on long missions.

He was my personal chew-toy but he loved me too much to care.

"Kaida-chan, look here," he cooed, taking advantage of the ten minutes reprieve I had given him after gnawing on his sleeve for an hour to hold up a pointy ninja-star from out of nowhere, "this is called a 'shuriken'. Repeat it after me, shu-ri-ken."

"Ah-bahbahbah," I blubbered cheerfully, pushing my pudgy little hands against his cheeks with each syllable.

"Shu-ri-ken."

"Ahbah-bahbahbah?"

"Shuriken."

"Bahbah!"

Dad was never a subtle man, especially for a ninja. While I knew that everyone expected me to be a kunoichi when I grew up, being part of the renowned Uchiha clan and all, dad had always been very excited at the idea of teaching me about the ways of the shinobi. He often showed me his forehead-protector and traced the carved leaf while telling me stories about his more exciting missions. He never got angry when I slobbered all over his forehead-protector or chewed on his fingers and never let me forget that he loved me.

He was a good father.

The sound of someone entering through the front door, however, had him hurriedly storing the shuriken away with all the behaviour of a guilty man.

"Don't tell your mother," he whispered in panic.

Mum had a thing about sharp and pointy objects near me ever since I threw a dart into my dad's leg. He'd thought it would help me get some aiming practice in while I was still young and that was during the short but painful period in which I got annoyed at my limbs which wouldn't react or move like they did when I was 22.

Mum loved the idea of me becoming a ninja as well but she never really approved of dad trying to introduce it to me before I was old enough.

Another thing about mum was that she was beautiful. Like, super pretty. I wasn't very attractive in my previous lifetime. I mean, I wasn't terrible looking but nothing stood out either except for my gangly, too-long limbs and the freckles that were everywhere. But now, every time I looked at my mum, I had hope. I mean, between her and my slightly-better-looking-than-average dad, I felt pretty confident.

Heck, sometimes, I'd look at my dad — my sheepish, fumbling, goofy, new dad — and think, 'how'd you score her?'

He'd always scowl back as though he knew what I was thinking.

Mum strolled into the room, carrying at least four bags of groceries, and glanced at us studiously. My dad grinned a little too widely back and reached out to pat my head as if to say, 'look at me playing innocently with our little tyke, isn't she adorable?'

"Welcome home, Miu, darling," dad greeted, breaking the suspicion-filled silence. I resisted the urge to slap my forehead. He really was a bad liar. Truly, I didn't know how he ever ended up becoming a ninja.

Mum's eyes narrowed. "Akio... you haven't been pulling out any kunai around our little 3 month old daughter again, have you...?"

Ha! Nothing got past those monster instincts!

"Of course not," her dad denied instantly. Technically, he was correct. It wasn't a kunai after all.

I grinned and if it looked just a tad malicious, hey, my mother taught me well.

"Shu-we-ken!" I squealed, sounding out the syllables and bursting into a fit of giggles, acting every bit the part of the innocent child seeking approval.

My dad blanched and stared at me in horror.

"Shuwiken!" I clapped excitedly.

My mother growled.

"Akio...!"

Deciding that this little situation didn't need any witnesses, I suddenly found my little baby socks very interesting as my dad let out a very unmanly shriek and my mother advanced like the grim reaper.

"Bah-bah!"

"Miu – wait – no – mercy!"

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

Kushina, as it turns out, was an old friend of my mother's. They were on the same genin team, surprisingly enough.

Kushina had been a little freaked out when I, you know, started screeching like a temperamental eagle when I saw her face so she'd dodged meeting me again until I was 4 months old. I was prepared to meet her again though.

I was not, however, prepared to see her at least 6 months pregnant. I stared at her stomach with wide eyes as I slowly processed this.

What month was it now? July? August? Naruto was born in October, right?

Naruto would be born soon. I was right in the middle of the main timeline. I mean, I judged by Kushina's age and the fact that the Uchiha clan was alive that everything would happen somewhat soon but fuck, I didn't know it was that soon! I wasn't ready!

Did that mean Sasuke was born already? The Third Shinobi World War was definitely over then. Wait, how old did that make Itachi? How old was he when he killed all the Uchiha? Shit, I needed to start thinking. I needed to write everything down before I forgot it all. I needed to do something.

"Kaida, this is my friend, Kushina," mum said gently, tilting my in her arms until I could clearly see the nervous redhead. Kushina fidgeted awkwardly, evidently caught between keeping her distance in case I freaked out and immediately pouncing on the adorable blubber of a baby that was me. "Kushina, this is Kaida."

"Uh, hi, Kaida," Kushina spluttered, before muttering to mum under her breath, "you made this? She's so cute!"

Mum laughed and stepped closer. "Why don't you try holding her?"

"Wait, what-ttebane?"

Kushina didn't have time to protest as mum took advantage of her surprise and deposited me into her arms. I giggled at her alarmed expression and reached up to pat her cheek reassuringly, taking pity on her nerves.

"Kushi-bah!" I exclaimed, throwing every bit of acting I had into my cutesy baby expression. She softened instantly and held me close. "Kushi-bah-bah!"

"Oh, she's too cuuuute-ttebane!" Kushina cried out and suddenly I was crushed in a tight hug. There was a lot of red and a lot of pressure and I flailed a little in shock.

' _Breathing... not... working...!_ '

"Uh, Kushina, please refrain from suffocating my child."

"Ah, gomenasai!"

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

The nine-tails attack came two months later.

It was a sobering experience.

One moment, I was dozing in my cot, drifting off to sleep. Then the world shifted, the air thickened with death and I screamed for the second time in absolute terror because the stench of fear suffocated me and no matter which way I twisted and turned, I couldn't escape it.

It took mere minutes before a large figure slipped into my room and unfamiliar arms scooped me up. A glint of light off the metal on their forehead instantly told me that this was a shinobi and they were here to save me so I clung to them as tightly as I could, burying my face into their chest and whimpered.

It wasn't the first time that I had felt utterly helpless, hell, it wasn't even the first time in my new life, but it was one of the most traumatic. I found myself thinking, 'how the hell am I supposed to change a world like this? How am I supposed to survive a world like this?'

And then it struck me, right in the middle of my panicked craze, amidst the deathlike atmosphere.

I wasn't supposed to survive.

I was an Uchiha. There was a plot, a specific way things had to go in order to reach a happy ending. I was an anomaly. A glitch in the system. I was not supposed to exist.

And I was fine with that.

They say that after you've experienced an event, after you faced a fear once, you tend not to fear it as much the second time you do it. Perhaps this had some truth because the thought of dying didn't scare me so much now.

In fact, I think surviving in this world scared me just a little more.

So, as Kurama's chakra slowly leeched out of the air hours later, I had long since stopped screaming. When my mother finally showed up, her relieved face streaked with dirt and blood, and launched herself at me in the desperate way that only worried mothers could, I watched her calmly, understanding and accepting. Hell, I may have even smiled.

I would live the next 7 or so years as I wished. I would follow my parents' expectations, I would make everyone around me as happy as I could for as long as I could. And then I would face Itachi head-on and hope it would be quick.

I was not one to struggle against fate.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

 **So. There it is. Heh. Yeah.**

 **Unfortunately, I don't actually have a beta for this story, or anyone really to read over and help edit it so the quality may be dodgy. I just hope to god there're no spelling mistakes (or grammar or punctuation, etcetera...) If anyone finds any, feel free to let me know so I can fix them up. And please, review! Like I said, there's no one to help edit so I'll take suggestions, advice, feedback, anything from wherever I can get it. Then hopefully I can make this story more enjoyable. (Maybe expect a rewrite in the future once I get more practice)**

 **I will also try very hard to avoid a mary-sue protagonist but it's always a bit difficult to tell what contitutes a proper mary-sue. Evidently, my character will end up a strong character since, you know, I do want to keep her alive until the end.**

 **As for the storyline, it'll probably stick fairly close to canon for a little while but be prepared for some major plotline destruction in the future. Also, I don't tend to hold back on the swearing. Be warned.**

 **Ok, until next time~!**

 **\- Dragon**


	2. Unbreakable

**Ok, I'm blowing pretty quickly through early childhood now. Of course, I'll try not to rush too much so I can introduce everything I need to but it'll be pretty fast-paced until we actually get somewhere.**

 **Please review!**

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My dad died about four months before my second birthday.

We found out about a week afterwards and even then, his body was never recovered.

 _It could've happened to anyone,_ we were told.

Mum grieved for months.

"A mission gone wrong," was all she would tell me. It wasn't until much later that I would find out that his team ran into some dangerous missing-nin, unprepared, outmatched.

Yeah, it could've happened to anyone. I didn't care about that though. It could've happened to anyone but it happened to him.

Mum withdrew into herself.

"She had lost her parents in the war", some distant great aunt had muttered at the funeral, unaware that the child held in a cousin's arms nearby could hear every word. "She had lost her sister on a mission too. She lost her friends in the Kyuubi attack. And now, her husband. The poor girl."

"Mm, the poor child'll never really know her father either," someone else replied softly. I watched my second mother up ahead, her face set in a solemn, sorrowful gaze, and felt something deep down ache.

I had loved my second father in the end. I would remember him. Always.

But I would never be able to love him as much as she did.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I got a more accurate indication of exactly where I sat in the timeline on my second birthday.

Mum didn't organise my party that year. I didn't expect her to. Hell, I was just relieved that she came. I was no psychologist, not in this life or the last. I didn't know whether this was a sign of healing or running. I was just happy it wasn't a sign of hurting.

I was never sure if I could love my second parents like I loved my first, but I had long since decided that, even if I couldn't love them as much, I could still love them. Reincarnation guilt was a weird thing and separate (but somehow not) from survivor's guilt.

While Mum sat in the corner, quietly talking with some other adults, I took shelter behind the stack of bean bags in the corner. It wasn't a gathering of friends, after all, so much as all my cousins decided to invade our house with their incessant shrieking and seemingly endless saliva. How can all of their hands be sticky and grubby? The food hadn't even been served yet!

Also, I have so many cousins. So freakin' many. I could start an Uchiha cult with just my cousin. Hell, I could raise a tiny, sticky, grubby Uchiha army with just my cousins. We could rule the world.

If only I could do it without getting near them. They also all looked the same. I'd done a quick scan for Sasuke already, since he should've been around my age anyway, but even if he was there, I wouldn't have been able to tell. Moreover, I had no clue how important my family was. Were we big enough to invite the son of the Clan Head for a playdate? I'd been alive for 2 years now and I hadn't even seen him. He most certainly wasn't at this party. Probably would've killed the mood anyway.

Anyway, I was crouching behind the bean bags, blocking out the sounds of coagulating infants, when the name slipped through my defences.

"... Itachi, wasn't it?"

My head snapped around so fast that I think I pulled a muscle but I pushed the discomfort way down as I zeroed in on a conversation between two Uchiha mothers nearby.

"Yes, the genius heir. I hear he's entered the academy. He's starting rather young."

"Well, he's always been a prodigious son. Fugaku must be proud. And their second son? His birthday is coming soon, right?"

"Oh, not for another few months. It's a shame Fugaku never holds gatherings for his sons' birthdays. It would be a fantastic opportunity if we got invited."

I tuned out immediately. I didn't need to hear the whimsical exchange of the political aims of some opportunistic old ladies. I had work to do.

If Itachi was just entering the academy around now, then there's still time before the massacre. Maybe a couple of years at least. I knew it was after Sasuke entered the academy, so in theory, it would be after I enter the academy. Beyond that, I was pretty vague on certain details. And I sure as hell didn't remember exact dates.

Wait, Itachi was 13 when he killed his clan. Shit, how much older was Itachi than Sasuke? I was missing things. Pieces. Fragments of the story. I also needed to write everything I remember down before it all goes away.

My thoughts were cut off by a huge yawn which left my jaw aching slightly. Mum, like the experienced mother hawk she was, snapped her gaze to me immediately before smiling softly at the other mothers.

"It's seems that it's getting a bit late. The children's bedtimes must be soon, yes?" She announced, sweeping to her feet and moving towards me. I didn't protest as she scooped me up, resisting the urge to rub my little baby temples in frustration. This entire world was giving me a cosmos-sized headache.

It was pretty amazing how quickly mum gathered up the rest of the children, depositing them into their respective parent's arms and ushering them all out the door. I gurgled happily as the door slammed shut behind them and applauded with all the grace of an excited seal.

Mum breathed out slowly and chuckled at me. "Thanks for the excuse, little dragon. I thought I'd never be rid of those stuffy old ladies."

I snorted and rolled onto my back, still clapping my chubby little hands.

Eventually, she walked me to bed, taking the time to gently tuck me in. "Two whole years," she murmured teasingly to me. "You're getting old."

"Am not!" I yelped, playing the part of a child.

It was never her fault that I wasn't a child. She didn't need to know her child wasn't her own so I'd decided that I would play the part until the end.

"Oh how I wish these Uchiha genes weren't so strong," she muttered, talking more to herself than me now. "You take after me far too much. Perhaps you might've had more to remember your father by if you didn't."

She leaned forward, pressing her lips against my forehead. "Good night, little dragon."

I kept my eyes shut as she rose and drifted out of the room. My teeth ached as I clenched my jaw.

I didn't have long left.

I still needed to make her proud before I went.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

It was two months later when I met Natsumi.

It was a part of mum's recovery. I was convinced that staying cooped up in the house was not good for her, either physically, mentally, emotionally, etcetera, but she wouldn't do it for her so I tricked her into doing it for me.

Basically, I made her walk me to and from the park everyday. Most of the time, she sat quietly to the side, breathing the fresh air and alternating between watching me and watching the clouds (pity she wasn't a Nara, she'd have probably been very good at it and she wouldn't even have to die). But on good days, I could see her talking with other parents and passing acquaintances.

In hindsight, she probably knew what I was doing. I could never trick her. The simple fact that she never protested or refused spoke volumes, whether about her personality or strength I didn't know, but it was probably a good sign.

It was on one of these trips that I was draped across the top of some monkey bars like a lazy sloth, waiting for the sun to set a bit more.

Like I said, I went to the park mainly for mum's benefit. I still had a twenty year head start and while I remained childish in some ways, I had long outgrown playgrounds. Still, this was a good day for mum. She sat in a small group of women, chatting and smiling. So, whenever she glanced at me inquiringly ( _are you bored? Want to go home?_ ), I beamed and shook my head ( _no, I'm not done here yet_ ) and she would return to her conversation.

I was counting blades of grass when a something sharply jabbed me in the ribs through the bars. It hurt and it caught me by surprise. I yelped like a kicked puppy and twisted away from whatever it was, briefly forgetting exactly where I was.

Suddenly, I was on my back in the grass, groaning in pain. "Whyyyyy?" I moaned, blocking out the sun from my eyes with an arm.

Loud snorts of laughter alerted me to the presence of another brat and I shot upright. A girl came into view, all strawberry blonde curls and rosy cheeks, rolling about, clutching her stomach and laughing rather hysterically at my suffering.

I scowled.

"You should see your-" the girl cackled, pointing at me rather rudely. I cut her off when I let out a war cry and tackled her.

It was a good day for my mother but it wasn't quite so for me. That didn't stop me feeling bad later on.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

The crazy brat wasn't there the next day, or the day after that. It wasn't until three days later that I rocked up to the park and noticed her strawberry blonde curls bouncing around on the grass.

The moment I saw her, I veered sharply, attempting to skirt around her and make for the trees but she saw me instantly. I blanched and frantically looked around for a hiding place. Whoever she was, she fought hard and dirty and _I still have freakin' claw marks on my legs for gods sake, I don't wanna do it again._

There wasn't enough time to hide though since she immediately headed straight for me. Huh, I never noticed that she had bright red eyes. I thought that'd be something I'd have noticed, you know, considering we were _wrestling each other_ last time.

I whimpered and threw myself to the ground just as she reached me, my arms thrown defensively over my head. Yes, I had no shame, ok, _claw marks._

We stayed like that for a moment or two until small fingers prodded at my head curiously. I slowly peeked up, ready to duck back down again in case of a surprise attack. She now sat about a metre away, grinning widely.

"Hi," she said.

"Uhh," I replied smartly.

"I'm Natsumi," she announced, like she was presenting some sort of prize. "How about you?"

I frowned suspiciously. "Kaida."

"I like you, Kaida," she suddenly remarked. "You're not like the other idiots around here."

"Thank... you?" I responded slowly, gradually lowering my arms and sitting up.

"We're going to be friends."

Ok, I'm not an expert on social interaction or anything, but I don't think this conversation was flowing quite like it was supposed to. Still, this was better than the wrestling so I didn't protest.

"We are?" I seemed to have temporarily misplaced my brain cells in the confusion and terror.

She shot me a threatening glare and I backtracked.

"I-I mean, we are!" I exclaimed, avoiding eye contact.

"Great!" She beamed, leaping to her feet. She didn't seemed bothered when I flinched at the sudden movement, instead dragging me to my feet and pulling me off to the side. "You should come to my birthday party. It's on the twenty-first, in a week. You can meet my sister. She's great."

"Wow, Natsumi, meeting the family already, this is moving so fast," I joked awkwardly. She stared blankly at me in response and I began to panic internally.

"Call me Natsu," she commanded.

"Natsu!" I squeaked, caught by surprise at her forcefulness. She beamed.

"That's it! My name is Noguchi Natsumi, but you're my friend so you should call me Natsu," she explained.

Well, it made sense, I supposed. Maybe a bit aggressive, but she didn't seem so bad now that she wasn't trying to rip my face off.

"I should go home and tell my sister I made a friend then," Natsu decided. I was quickly learning that Natsumi was someone who pulled along at her speed, without pause, without mercy. She'd probably thrive in this world as long as she could survive it.

"O-Ok." I nodded but she was already moving. "See you later then."

She left me dumbfounded beside the playground, wondering what the hell just happened here.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I didn't end up going to Natsu's birthday party. I'd gotten right up to the door but all she said that there was some issues with her father so she decided not to. I didn't get to say anything before she shut the door again. I thought I heard the faint sound of shattering glass behind me as I walked back down the street but I couldn't be sure.

"Everybody has something," Mum murmured to me that night as she tucked me in. "If she is your friend, you don't need to know what that something is. You just need to be there for her."

I saw Natsu at the park two days later and hugged her. I didn't really know her. We'd only met two times, one of which we mostly just tried to dismantle each other.

She responded by planting a solid fist in my gut.

I learnt that Natsu doesn't like hugs that day.

I also learnt that everyone has something, but some of them have had it for a long time. People like Natsu have learned to deal with it and it couldn't break them anymore.

I wanted to be unbreakable too.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

 **Ok, probably not my best work but it's, uh, something...**

 **Anyway, read, review, if you give me feedback, I will love you forever.**

 **Until next time,**

 **\- Dragon**


	3. Ducks and Dogs

**Yayayayayayayay REVIEWS! ~(0)~**

 **I haveth reviews! I got ridiculously excited about having review and follows and favourites, oh my! To those who reviewed, thanks so much! (I got all giggly over compliments...)**

 **TheChucklingFox - That's good, I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! That is why I write ;3 Also thanks even more, you were my first reviewer!**

 **aspire5515 - Thank you~! It's good to see you're genuinely reviewing my story! Like I said, feedback is so very needed.**

 **Anyway, on with the story~ (Also, wow, I totally overuse exclamation marks when I'm happy...)**

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It's weird, being able to walk around and knowing that you're going to die. Moreover, knowing exactly who will kill you and how and why and not really being able to get angry over it.

And it's even weirder when that person is a celebrated prodigy, heir of your clan who is constantly gossiped and bragged about by all of your neighbours.

On the bright side, it became much easier for me to keep a track of him and roughly where I am in the timeline. But it also meant I was constantly reminded of my impending doom.

For instance, August 19th, four months after my second birthday, I headed outside to check the mail for mother. I made it about three steps out the front door before I heard two of my neighbours gossiping about how Itachi is apparently excelling in school and will be graduating soon.

I, being the graceful swan that I am, immediately missed a step, flailed in panic, let out a surprisingly inhuman noise somewhere between a shocked squeak and a surprised gurgle and face-planted on the grass, completely caught off guard (it was fucking _6am_ in the _morning_ , I was _not_ prepared to deal with this).

The neighbours paused at the sound and looked over to find me already sitting up and seemingly doing complex maths on my fingers, cross-legged on my front lawn.

 _What the heck?! Didn't he start this year?! Freakin' geniuses and their freakin' murder-y genius brains and geez, stupid ninja village with stupid ninja rules and stupid murder-y murder and-_

"What are you doing?" I paused and swivelled to see Mum in the doorway, all raised-eyebrows and hands-on-hips motherly style. The neighbours were gone, probably run away in case I was contagious or something.

"I fell," I deadpanned.

I counted thirty-seven seconds of prolonged eye contact before she just sighed, muttered, "my kid is so weird..." and disappeared inside again. I gave an indignant huff, but not too indignant 'cause _fuck it, she's not wrong._

I made my way to the mailbox just as two of my Mum's friends were walking by.

"... passed the graduation exam already!"

"Truly! Ah, the Clan Head must be so proud, his son really is a model Uchi-uh..."

"I know, that boy is a genius! Oh, if only my Itsuki were so- Oh! Kaida, honey, what on earth are you doing?!"

I paused.

"... Contemplating the fact that all life is meaningless and that our every achievement and every breath is only a part of the downward spiral we call our existence and that none of us can ever truly escape time so death will always claim us in the end."

"Sweetie, you're hitting your head against a mailbox, do you want me to call your mother?"

"... Yes please."

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

Three years passed quickly. I made it to five years old and four months. I kept up with my training, ready to knock 'em dead with my awesome skills at the Academy. Mum would be so proud. I also managed to figure out that I have a little under three years to go before I die.

Yeah.

My life (and death) sucks.

I'm kind of proud though. I managed to avoid all the major characters for five years but not Kushina but alas, my luck was not to last.

I'd stayed friends with Natsu since we'd met. She was still so, so aggressive but I'd kind of gotten used to it. She'd gotten used to me and my flighty weirdness in return. And thus a beautiful friendship was born~!

But not right now. Right now, I wanted to throttle her.

We were playing tag and she was it. I was not watching where I was going. Needless to say, I collided with someone, went down and took them down with me. The world was spinning by the time I came to my senses.

"Oh, man," I groaned, propping myself up so I wasn't crushing the kid. "Sorry 'bout-"

I saw exactly who I'd landed on and I stopped. I stared. I cursed a lot in my head. I even mentally cussed out Natsu who seemed to have _mysteriously, conveniently disappeared._

Of course. Of course, after five years of good luck and avoiding any real signs of trouble, I'd go and crash into _Uchiha Sasuke himself._ Because when I screw up, I go big!

As if that wasn't the worst part, oh no. No, because my stupid brain, as also, didn't focus on the actual important fact here that I'd run into Uchiha Sasuke ( _stop saying his full name, Kaida_ ). Instead what came out was something along the lines of:

"Wow, it really does look like a duck's butt..."

Moment of stunned silence.

"What?!" Huh. Sasuke looked mad.

I felt my face light up like a christmas tree in embarrassment as my head kicked into hyperdrive.

 _On the subject of christmas trees, they don't have Christmas here, did you know? How could they not have Christmas? No wonder they're all psychopathic killers, they don't know the pure, unadulterated joy of waking up on Christmas morning as a child and running downstairs because you know that some magical guy broke into your house last night to give you free shit! Maybe I should start a new tradition, I could totally get mum and Natsu in on it, maybe some of the neighb-_

 _Focus Kaida, focus!_

Sasuke didn't look mad anymore. Sasuke looked weirded out and I realised that, not only did I say that duck butt comment out loud earlier, I'd then proceeded to mutter creepily to myself under my breath about Christmas and psychopathic killers and and free shit. I'm very surprised he hasn't just left yet.

I needed a sock that I could just shove in my mouth in emergencies like this because apparently fear loosens my tongue and _he's still staring at me, oh god, I've just been staring like a startled deer at him for the past five minutes without saying a word, Kaida, you idiot, say something! And where is Natsu?!_

"S-Sorry!" I squeaked.

"Get off me!" He snarled.

Ohhhh, that's why he didn't leave. I was still sprawled out on top of him like an awkward, talking pancake. I made an odd sort of keening sound, like a tortured whale, and scrambled off him. I proceeded to leap to my feet and shuffle on the spot nearby, wondering if this is how chihuahuas felt all the time and _was that why they were always trembling?_

Sasuke scrunched up his face as he climbed to his feet and I found myself panicking as to whether it was in disgust or in pain. I darted forward once Sasuke was on his feet and began examining him for any injuries.

"Did I hurt you? Are you injured? Oh geez, did I break you?" I flittered around him, mentally cursing the world. "I didn't break you, did I? Tell me I didn't break you, I'll give you a tomato or something, you like those right? Just say I didn't break you! Oh no, I can't have broken the son of the Clan Head, I'll be skinned! And I don't want to be skinned! I very much like my skin where it is, thank you! Oh wait, is that where the saying 'saved my skin' came from, it's very accu-"

"Shut up, you freak!" He yelled. I instantly came to a halt in front of him, as stiff and straight as a soldier.

"Like a weakling like you could hurt me anyway," he snapped, dusting himself off. Ouch. Wow, he looked super threatening for a five year old, really, Uchiha are pretty scary. It was just a genetic talent of theirs I guess.

Oh wait. I'm an Uchiha.

"Oi, how'd you know I like tomatoes?" Sasuke frowned suspiciously at her. Alarms went off in her head.

 _Goddamn it, Kaida, you're making things WORSE JUST SHUT U-_

"Lucky guess!" I exclaimed, awkwardly chuckling as my eyes frantically scanned the area for an escape route. "Hahaha... haha.. ha.. ha..."

Kill me. Just end it now.

This was officially deemed the worst day of my life when a familiar face flickered into view.

"Sasuke, are you ok?" Uchiha freakin' Itachi asked. His voice was softer than I'd thought it'd be and those stress lines were much fainter. I gulped.

Sasuke immediately scowled deeper at me, probably for decreasing his cool factor at all in front of his adored older brother.

I didn't care. I was too busy staring in a combination of awe and horror at my future murderer. Was I crying? No? I wanted to...

Itachi fixed his eyes on me - _not red, not spinning, not yet_ \- and smiled. "And who might this be?"

"A freak," Sasuke grumbled.

"No one," I blurted out.

To his credit, Itachi didn't falter at the situation, just kept on smiling. That smooth son of a bitch.

"Are you Sasuke's friend?"

"Hell no!" Sasuke gaped. I didn't answer, feeling that Sasuke's response was pretty sufficient on my behalf.

"How unfortunate," Itachi's smile dipped a bit, not enough that any normal kid would notice but I was watching his every movement like a hawk. My entire body, my every sense was tight and on edge. "I've been encouraging my little brother to play more with kids his own age but he hasn't seemed to be able to make any friends. Say, would you mind playing with him?"

"Onii-san!" Sasuke whined, tugging on his brother's pants. Itachi didn't budge.

No, no, no, nonononono-

"Ok."

Sasuke's jaw dropped and he glared at me. I gulped.

What? You try saying no to your future murderer! Uchiha Itachi was going to kill me and he could make it hurt. I'd rather Sasuke's brooding over Itachi's wrath.

Itachi's smile brightened once more and he gently nudged Sasuke forwards. "Great. I'll be back in about an hour, otouto. Have fun until then."

Itachi flickered away and Sasuke and I were left in awkward silence.

The brat couldn't make killing intent just yet but he was making a valiant effort.

"Hehe..." I edged away. "Uh, how about we play tag? You can be it and I can... RUN!"

I booked it, screaming my head off as Sasuke shouted and gave chase, hands outstretched as though he were trying to strangle me.

Mum, thankfully, didn't say anything when I dragged my tired, sweaty self through the door that night and collapsed on the floor.

"I... hate... ducks..."

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I found Natsu the next day, sniggering at me.

"Natsu..."

"Oh! Hi friend! I was just taking a stroll and-"

"I'm going to kill you..."

"Heh. Bring it short-stuff."

She won. (She's the devil) I vowed revenge.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

My first year at the Academy started shortly after my 6th birthday.

With my luck, I wasn't even surprised that I was in the same class as the Rookie 9. It was practically inevitable at this point.

I was one of the first to arrive and chose a nice, safe seat up the back, in the middle. Out of the way enough that I'm sure if I kept my head down and my existence uninteresting then no one would talk to me. Right?

Haha. Wrong!

I wasn't sitting there for more than five minutes, doodling in the back of one of my books to pass the time, when I faintly registered the sound of someone sitting down next to me.

Probably no one, just some background character or something. I snuck a peek anyway and did a double-take accompanied with a strangled squeal of terror.

Five minutes. Five minutes was all it took for me to accidentally meet Shikamaru.

 _I can't even move seats! I mean, won't that be, like, super offensive? I hate interacting with main characters but I sure as hell don't want to make enemies of one!_

 _Oh shit_ , I blanched. _What if I'm in Chouji's seat? What if I get in the way of their beautiful life-saving friendship?! WHAT IF I BREAK UP SHIKAMARU AND CHOUJI?!_

 _Breathe Kaida, breathe._

 _It'll be ok. I'll just switch seats tomorrow, no biggie. Besides, Shikamaru's pretty chill. He won't care too much. Right?_ Right?

Having calmed down a bit, I returned to my doodling.

Ten minutes later, Chouji sits down on my other side. I start screaming in my head.

"Hi," he smiled (so warm and fuzzy and goddamn it!) at me, "I'm Chouji. What's your name?"

I looked at him with a blank expression for at least a solid minute before replying. "Kaida."

"Nice to meet you, Kaida," Chouji replied. Shikamaru, probably disturbed from his nap, squinted one eye at us before deeming it not worth his time and going back to sleep.

 _Yeah, sure, you have a nice nap, jackass, I'm just gonna hyperventilate over here but you, you get your beauty sleep._

Thankfully, Chouji seemed satisfied for the moment and busied himself with unpacking his books and stationary for class. I sighed in relief and glanced away just in time to lock eyes with Sasuke, entering the classroom. There was a moment of panic on my end before he scowls heavily, sticks his nose up and makes his way to literally the furthest seat from mine.

I whimpered and proceeded to stubbornly stare at my hands in my lap until class started.

Oh, but that wasn't the end. I heard our teacher start to introduce himself and looked up, ready to start learning, only to realise that the majority of the bottom half of the board is completely blocked.

Kiba sat in front of me. Akamaru sat on Kiba's head. I now have to ask Kiba to place Akamaru elsewhere or resign myself to only seeing half of the notes on the board. I was tempted by the first option, I really was...

I gulped and leaned forward to tap Kiba on the shoulder. The first time, I do it so softly that it barely rustles his clothes. The second time though, he twitched and turned to face me.

"What?"

I froze.

He frowned, befuddled. _Heh, befuddled. Funny word._

"What?" He repeated more forcefully. I jolted into action.

"U-uh, I-I-I c-can't see the b-board," I stammered.

"What?" He blinks, obviously wondering why I'm telling him this.

"Your d-dog is i-in the way." I pressed onwards.

He blinked and shrugged. "Oh. Sorry."

That should have been the end of it but I think we've established that my brain immediately disconnects from my mouth in the face of danger.

"Th-thanks. Y-You know, your d-dog is super c-cute. You l-look just l-like him."

I need to remember to buy a goddamn sock. _No, Kaida, you just need to STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF!_

Kiba took a moment to run what I had just said through his head while mortification slowly spread across my face. He _growled_.

"Did you just say I looked like a dog?"

"N-No!" I exclaimed, far too loudly.

"What the hell?!" Kiba snapped.

"Kiba! Kaida!" Sensei called. "Keep talking during my class and you will no longer _be_ in my class. Understood?"

"She just-" Kiba protested.

"Understood?" Sensei repeated.

"Yes, sensei," Kiba grouched, slumping in his chair. But not before sending me a glare. He never moved Akamaru either.

I shrank down in my own chair. _One day. One day, I would stop doing that._

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

After school was just as rough.

I had managed to scribble down any notes from the board I'd missed from Chouji's book, the angel, and fled the building before Kiba could catch me.

That was when I noticed a certain chibi blonde swinging sadly on a swing nearby.

I nearly screamed. _No, no, nononono. Nope. No. Not gonna happen. Keep walking, Kaida. That right there? That is a little malevolent ball of plot and bad luck just waiting to hatch. I don't care how sad he looks. Keep. Walking._

I jerked my head forward, watching him vanish from the corner of my eye. _That's it, keep walking, don't stop, keep wa- What's that?_

I paused. There was something huddled behind a tree nearby, like a small animal or something?

I found myself drifting over to it. It moved a bit and I squinted. It was actually kind of big for an animal, maybe it was a ninj-

 _Nope_. I stopped next to 'it' and stared. _Not an animal. Definitely not an animal._ (Just as cute though.)

It was a little Hinata. And she was turning bright red, staring back at me with teary, embarrassed eyes. Trembling too.

What was a tiny Hinata doing behind a tree?

I slowly looked at Naruto, swinging sadly on his swing. Then back at her, hiding behind a tree.

Then back at Naruto. Then back at her. Naruto. Her. Naruto. Her.

Naruto.

Her.

Oh. _Oh._

I blinked and slowly grinned. Hinata squeaked at my expression and scuttled back. She then quickly realised that she'd left the safe cover of the tree and scuttled right back again.

I resisted the urge to snort.

Slowly, I waved at her. She turned even redder. Then I pointed at Naruto, gave her a thumbs up and kept walking.

She looked like she wanted the ground itself to just swallow her whole but settled for making a low, whining sound and hiding her face behind her hands.

I laughed the moment I was out of earshot.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

It was a few streets over and I was nearly home when I turned the corner and found three boys from my class a few metres away.

Oh hey, there's Chouji, I wonder where Shi- Oh no.

I paled.

 _No._

 _But-_

 _No._

 _But they're bullying him!_

 _Not your problem._

 _But it's not right!_

 _There is a plot!_

 _He looks so sad._

 _A way things have to go!_

 _He's too cute to be bullied..._

 _You will mess everything up!_

 _And he leant us his notes after class..._

 _Stop it! Keep walking!_

 _That's right._

 _I couldn't get involved._

 _If anything, I'd make him sadder when I inevitably died._

 _Besides, I see Shikamaru walking down the street now. I'm sure he'll save him._

 _But he's awfully far away..._

 _Leave. Now._

I was turning to go back the way I came, mapping out an alternate route in my head, when one of the boys reached out and shoved Chouji. His bag of snacks felt to the ground and I felt my resolve snap in half.

"I hate having a conscience," I grumbled, shooting across the street and tapping on the shoulder of the boy who pushed him.

The moment he'd faced me, getting ready to sneer something at me, I punched him. In the face. With my hand.

"Ow, son of a-" I yelled at the same time as the kid. I shook my hand in pain and bit my lip. Shit, the movies never tell how much that fucking _hurts_!

The other boy glanced over in shock to find his friend on the ground, clutching his nose.

"I hope it's broken!" I hissed, grabbing Chouji's hand and making a run for it. Thinking ahead, I grabbed Shikamaru's hand as I ran past too, taking him along for for the ride.

"Vive la révolution!" I shouted, leaving the bullies far behind.

Natsu is such a bad influence.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

The next day, I didn't sit in the same seat as before. I sat in the seat four seats to the left of that one.

 _Ha, I'm a genius._

See, now Shikamaru and Chouji can sit next to each other and Kiba will be far away enough that we'll never clash in class again. I'm still in the back row, in a position to avoid attention. Hopefully Shikamaru and Chouji won't take it personally, and might even assume I just did it to avoid Kiba after yesterday! I even avoided potential bonding by introducing them last night once we'd stopped running, and then abruptly making a run for it. I went straight home after that. Now, I just need to not screw things up again and my peaceful school days can be salvaged.

Haha. Wrong!

I watched in despair as Shikamaru sat in the seat to my right and Chouji, beaming happily at her like the little rainbow muffin he was, squeezed past to sit on my left.

Shikamaru shot me an odd look and Chouji looked adorably confused as I let out a soft sob and dropped my head onto the table.

Sensei paused a few minutes into the lessons to scowl at me. "Uchiha Kaida, stop banging your head into the table, you're disrupting the rest of the class!"

"Yes Sensei..."

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

 **Ok, so this was kind of like a semi-filler chapter but kind of not...? Like, obviously nothing super serious happened but I think it was pretty important to see how Kaida meets half of the characters, how she interacts with them and how she deals with interacting with them. So, semi-filler. Also, this ended up wayyyy longer than I thought it'd be but I'm pretty eager to get onto the good stuff soo...**

 **Anyway, hang tight. This was a more upbeat chapter but the next chapter, well, shit's probably gonna start going down.**

 **Please, keep those reviews coming~**

 **Until next time!**

 **\- Dragon**


	4. Spinning, Spiralling, Slow

**Welcome back dear readers! So, this chapter might be a trippy, it's the first time I've tried writing something like this so I guess we'll see how it goes... But first, reviews! Yayyyyy!**

 **Konslov - Yay! Knowing that someone enjoys my writing makes me super happy. I'll be sure to keep it up. And lol, I'm the exact same. 100% can't resist a cute kitty. (evidently, 'cause I made it my profile pic) Thanks for reviewing too, I'm happy to hear you didn't notice any mistakes. I really try to avoid them but sometimes they just slip past you. Thanks again!**

 **Guest - Oh my god, I flipped when I read your review 'cause you're actually pretty close to what I was planning. Are you psychic? Anyway, I've basically revealed how she survives at the end of this chapter so you can kind of see how close you actually got and I'll be elaborating more in my next update. In the meantime, thanks so much for reviewing and I hope you enjoy my story!**

 **I'm probably gonna end up rambling at the end of the chapter so I'll just let you get to the reading now.**

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I'd been kind of excited for ninja school. I mean, it was _ninja school_. Even kids in a ninja village got excited at the term 'ninja school'.

Ninja school was _boring_.

Maybe it was my adult mind doing 12 year old maths (at like 6 years old, mind you) but I was pretty much done with the Academy. I also sucked at taijutsu. I thought that'd be my better subject considering I'd been training myself for about four years now but maybe I should have consulted someone 'cause my stamina was great and all. I killed laps and stretches and learnt I'm actually pretty flexible. My speed isn't half bad either. But when it comes to things like precision, strength or endurance, I hadn't really done much of the right training for those.

We hadn't started anything on chakra yet, my one other subject that I craved to start excelling in. Other than taijutsu, it was just th core subjects. You know, maths, history, Japanese, etc, etc. Well, I could do maths. But I'd only done the basics for Japanese in my former life and the anime/manga had covered surprisingly very little of what we were learning in history.

The only thing that sucked more than boring ninja school was being _bad_ at boring ninja school.

So, I studied on my own. Mostly, I just wanted to skip ahead to chakra and fire-bending. I mean, most Uchiha could do that cool Katon fire-breathing thingy and damn it, I wanted to be a dragon too.

I was quick to borrow a couple of dozen books on chakra from the nearest library a few days after my sixth birthday (a week after I started at the Academy) and snuck them home. Mum didn't seem like she'd approve, you know.

Not that my secret lasted long.

Barely a month after that, I came home from Academy to find mum standing in my room, my entire stash of books and scrolls at her feet.

"Kaida, honey," she began sweetly. I flinched at the familiar tone. That was the I'm-smiling-but-not-on-the-inside tone. "What are these doing under your bed?"

"Uh..." I thought quick. "They're for class?"

I've been deceiving my mother about me not having been reincarnated and about how we're all gonna die soon, so you'd think I'd be able to lie about this.

Nope!

"Kaida, you haven't started chakra at the Academy yet," mum sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in disappointment. "You've been there for a month."

"Oh," I blinked. "Right. They're for... um... leisurely reading?"

Why does everything I say sound like a question?

Uchiha Miu smiled serenely and warning bells went off in my head. "Let's talk."

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

Surprisingly enough, mum offered to train me after school. I mean, after the tongue-lashing and general punishment for lying and hiding things.

I kept forgetting she was a jounin and super lethal. She also specialises in this weird gymnastics taijutsu. Yeah, imagine my surprise when she bent into an unnatural pretzel shape during one of our stretching sessions. It was a joke, she said, but I think she just wanted me to freak out as revenge for borrowing those books without telling her. (Because I flipped, that was _unnatural, does she even have a spine-_ )

Vindictive woman.

She was pleased at least to find I was already fairly flexible. I've probably never seen my mother prouder than when I successfully twisted into one of her more complex positions.

Ninja villages are weird.

But I've quickly started climbing the ranks in taijutsu class so I'm not complaining. (Yes, I know I'm not going to live to be a ninja anyway but goddamn it, I was mentally like thirty years old by now and I was not going to lose to _children_ )

She also trained me in chakra control. I had to practice at that one. I was really hoping that, you know, being from a chakra-less world and all, I might get some chakra sensitivity or something. Something cheat-worthy. But alas, I was thoroughly average.

2 months passed. Mum was a slave driver. Once I'd built up my speed, flexibility and stamina, learned to weave around an opponent's attack like water slipping through fingers, to turn their own strength and their own weight into my own power, she started focusing on my weak points. My strength and endurance mainly. I wasn't going to be much use as a ninja, she said, if I couldn't even throw or take a hit.

 _It's for mum, it's for mum,_ I repeated to myself as I hit the ground hard and felt the air leave my lungs. _It's for mum, it's for mum, it's for mum._

She smirked and said, "Again."

I stifled a whimper and slid back into a defensive stance.

Mother also had me start learning about the human body. The weak points, the soft points, the placement of organs and the way it moved.

Shikamaru shot me an odd look in maths class the next day as I skimmed a book that did not contain maths.

My least favourite training was blindfold training.

But let's not get into that (torture).

( _And throughout it all, I never even realise how well Uchiha Miu shields me from the building tension between the Uchiha and the village._ )

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I met Itachi for the second time a few weeks later. It was raining that day and I'd stayed late to ask sensei some last-minute history questions. (We had a test the next day, I aced it.)

By the time I left the classroom and headed outside, there was only one student left, scowling in the rain.

"Sasuke?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. Duck-Butt turned his scowl on me and I could feel his mood worsen.

"What do you want?" He grunted.

"Aren't you heading home?" I said, squinting at him curiously. Hey, I figured I'd already dug my grave here. Who cares how deep it is really? ( _I do, I care, I care so very much and I should really just lock myself in my room forever, stop talking to main cha-_ )

"I'm waiting for someone," he bit out, " _obviously_."

"Right," I edged away. "Obviously. Well, don't get sick and die!"

 _I need to stop talking now. For the rest of my (short) life._

I barely took three steps before a soft woosh sounded from behind me and a familiar voice called out, "Otouto."

 _Shiiiiiiiii-_

"Oh," Itachi focused on me curiously, "this is the girl from the park, isn't it? So you are friends?"

"Not if she begged," Sasuke hissed. His eyes practically screamed murder. I gulped.

"You're an Uchiha, right?" Itachi continued. I nodded slowly, wondering where this was going. "So you're heading back to the Uchiha compound? Why don't we walk together?"

 _Retreat! RETREAT!_

"Haha, no, that's fine, really," I blanched. Well, on the bright side, Itachi might not be my future murderer because Sasuke looks like he just might beat him to it.

Itachi insisted. "You don't even have an umbrella. Here, you can share Sasuke's."

Well, I would but Sasuke looks like he might bite me with how hard he's gnashing his teeth right now.

Yeah, actually, he seems angrier than usual. I paused to survey him.

Oh wait. That's right, Itachi would be getting super busy by now. I'm totally intruding on what little brother-time he has left.

 _Wow, Kaida. Not cool._

I turned my inquisitive stare to Itachi. _Yep, those stress lines were much more pronounced now. He doesn't look so good._

I nodded, proud of myself for figuring it out. _Man, maybe I'll be a detective next time around. If there's a next time around. God, I hope there isn't a next time around._

"Great," Itachi smiled, opening an umbrella for Sasuke before pulling out a second umbrella for himself.

I shot him a panicked look. "Wait, what?"

And that is how I ended up walking home sandwiched between the two people most like to kill me in the future.

I was more exhausted than usual by the time I got home.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

If I had to pinpoint the beginning, the start of the downward spiral, it was probably that day in October, 5 months after starting at the Academy. Life had been good. I went to class and had lunch with Shikamaru and Chouji everyday. I went home and trained. I had dinner with mum and slept. Rinse and repeat.

It was during one of my days off that I was heading to the park to meet Natsu. The park had just come into view when I caught a piece of a conversation nearby.

"...u hear? A ninja died near here recently."

I stopped. Moving, breathing, all of it. I just stopped.

"Yeah, that genius one right? Shisui? So young too. What a tragedy..."

I stopped and I couldn't move again. I couldn't _breathe_.

No, wait, that wasn't the problem. I could breathe. I was breathing too much.

"Hey, miss? Are you ok?"

 _I couldn't- I didn't- I don't-_

"Hey kid!"

"Is she alright?"

"I think she's having a fit or something? Or going into shock?"

I faintly registered the world spinning, _spinning_ ( _ **spinning and red and seeing and killing and**_ _ **dying**_ ) and I was falling, wasn't I?

No. No, I was already on the ground.

 _A ninja died near here recently._

 _Yeah, that genius one right?_

 _ **Shi. Su. I.**_

 _ **Had died.**_

 _I don't want to die._

( **You can't fight fate.** )

 _I've died before._

( **Yet here you are.** )

 _It_ _ **hurts**_ _._

"Kaida!"

Natsu's face swam into view.

 _Oh right. We were supposed to play in the park._

She faded in and out for a few seconds, then the world went **dark**.

 _I'm sorry, Natsu._

( **I'm sorry for leaving you to mourn me.** )

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I woke up in my bed hours later. My mother ( **she looks different** ) stood in the doorway. She stayed quiet, her expression ( **looks different because she isn't your mother** ) was unreadable.

( **She is a mother** )

I laid back down and stared at the roof.

( **But she isn't yours.** )

I closed my eyes.

( **Is that guilt you feel?** )

My head pounded.

( **It won't help.** )

( **Thief.** )

( **Liar.** )

 **(Mistake.)**

I had died once before and I wasn't as scared as I once was but that didn't mean I wasn't scared.

I was not one to fight fate.

I had neither the fear nor courage to.

( **You are nothing.** )

( **You are the thing you can never escape.** )

 **You are death.**

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I am eight years and three months old when I come home to a mess. Mum hadn't slept in days. She was at the sink, scrubbing the dishes. She was muttering to herself again.

My mother, with her monster instincts, did not hear me come in.

"Mum?" I spoke, breaking the silence like glass. Mum looks up and focuses on me. I stare back, almost scared.

She's scrubbed the plate in her hand so hard that it's cracked.

We stay that way for what feels like years. Then she smiled. A tired, strained smile but a smile nonetheless.

"My Little Dragon," she breathes, gingerly putting the plate and sponge down. "How do you feel about staying at Natsumi's for a few nights?"

I frowned.

"Things are a bit tense around here," mum explained, answering my unspoken question. "I'd just prefer it is you were at a friend's until everyone calms down a bit."

She helped me pack that night and I left the next day.

I knew something was wrong. I knew the massacre was coming.

But in that moment, I just smiled and planted a kiss on her cheek. She pulled me in for one last hug and watches me head off.

Because when it matters most, I am so _incredibly_ **slow**.

I thought I had more time.

That is the last time I see my mother.

(Because you never really know when you'll see them last. Not until you look back and think, _if only I'd known_.)

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

 _Itachi flicks his blade and splatters excess blood across the ground as he moves to the next house._

 _Upon entering, he is surprised to find the inhabitant waiting for him. Not running. Not fighting. Waiting. Just waiting._

 _Uchiha Miu watches him like a cat would watch a mouse._

 _"I can't beat you," she says. She says it like she knows it's a fact, like she's commenting on the weather._

 _"Is this where you beg for mercy?" Itachi asks. He stays cold, stone, steel, because if he feels now then he can't do what needs to be done._

 _"There will be no begging." She stands, her every movement precise and cautious. If she decides to fight, he thinks, she will be a challenge. But he will win still. "I'm never going to beg you for my life. No, I'm going to convince you why you should let my daughter live."_

 _Itachi blinks, running through his memory. Kaida. The little Uchiha girl. The one in Sasuke's class._

 _Uchiha Miu smiles slowly. "Yes, her. You're going to leave her alive."_

 _"Many parents have begged me for their children's lives tonight," Itachi comments. "What makes you think you will be any different?"_

 _Something entered her expression. Sympathy? Pity? Sorrow? Even with all his years of training, he can't quite pinpoint it. "Because you are a pacifist more than you are a killer and I am so sorry this is happening to you."_

 _Itachi tries to keep the panic from his face but he's sure that a little surfaces._

 _"Don't act so surprised," Uchiha Miu snorts. "I'm closer to the issue than you think, little nephew. Mikoto-nee was not stupid and neither am I. Or_ is _not stupid. Tell me, have you killed her yet?"_

 _He stays silent._

 _"Irrelevant, sorry. No, you are going to leave my little girl alive because I'm going to make it in your best interest that you do. Because you don't want to kill anymore and I think you can get away with leaving one little girl alive."_

 _"And you'll just accept your death?"_

 _"If it is necessary. If it saves her. I have lost my husband, my sisters, my friends, dear boy, and I will not lose my daughter. Not if I can help it."_

 _"... I'm listening."_

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

 **Yeah... that was so hard to write and even reading back on it, it's not my best work. Again, once I get more practice, I'm seriously considering a rewrite. But anyway, we have reached the Uchiha massacre! Did I surprise anyone? Yeah, I feel like some of you might be a bit disappointed since Kaida wasn't actually in the Uchiha massacre directly but hey, I'm sure I got a few people. (This is my first time writing such a dramatic scene and I played around with the italics and bold a lot so I'd love to hear how that went over) We're also steadily edging closer to the actual canon timeline! I think maybe one more chapter, maybe two, for the aftermath and we'll be on our way.**

 **Did anyone guess about Miu being Mikoto's sister? Yeah, I love Miu. She's badass. And a jounin. A badass jounin. If anyone was gonna have a reincarnated child, it would be Miu. It's a shame I couldn't use her in more of the story too. As for how she convinces Itachi (because you know she will), don't worry. We'll get around to that much later on. Also, Itachi was a bit hard to keep in character too! Like, Sasuke just hates Kaida so he's just a brat to her but Itachi, I don't know, he's weird. One of my favourite characters but weird.**

 **Ok, pretty please review! Let me know what you think!**

 **Until next time**

 **\- Dragon**


	5. Alive

**Next chapter done! Woot-woot! Yeah, welcome to the aftermath of the Uchiha Massacre. But first, reviews.**

 **Konslov – Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's really great to hear that! I'm always worried about writing more intense scenes since I know what I want to get across but without a beta or anything, I have no clue if anyone actually gets what I'm saying.**

 **Guest – Actually, I've thought the same thing for ages! Like, I could maybe believe, maybe, that since everything was super tense between the village and the Uchiha that no one was staying at a friend's house that night, particularly since the Uchiha were planning a coup de'tat so they probably wanted as little interaction between their people and the village as possible but were none of the Uchiha on missions or anything? Or even training late in one of their dozens of training ground? And when the Uchiha started being killed, no one was able to run and tell anyone else? That's why I have this sort of headcanon that there are actually Uchiha still around, but like scattered and in hiding, kind of like the Uzumaki survivors. There's probably a lot less considering the Uzumaki were a village and the Uchiha a clan within a village but that's what I like to think. Anyway, ending my rambling. As for those questions, well, we'll see ;3**

 **Ok! Now we can plunge right into how Kaida has way too many problems and is currently questioning her very existence in this world, let's go!**

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

 _I was 8 years and 3 months old._

 _How sad is that?_

 _I was 8 years and 3 months old when I became an orphan._

 _That's the kind of world this is._

Natsumi had welcomed me into her home the moment I'd shown up with packed bags and a grim expression. She'd taken one look ( _"everyone has something"_ ) and smiled, ushering me inside.

"My dad's on a mission," she chirped, taking my bags from me and placing them to the side for now. "He'll be gone for a while so stay as long as you want. We can have a super-mega-extra-long sleepover party!"

She cheered and slapped my back in that way she always did - _really goddamn hard_. I squeaked in pain and managed a small smile in response.

"Uh, sounds great," I agreed hesitantly. It could be fun, depending on if I could survive her for long enough.

Some people might've thought that her excitement, her sudden bubbly manner at having a sleepover, was somewhat rude considering I was obviously going through something. I found it refreshing, a good distraction.

( _"Everyone has something," mum once told me. "If she is your friend, you don't need to know what that something is. You just need to be there for her."_ )

"Thank you," I said suddenly.

She didn't respond with words, only a wide smile. ( _Unbreakable_ )

Natsumi's older sister was completely different from Natsu. She'd come home later that night to find Natsu and me curled up on the couch, whispering mischievously to each other as we planned out various new pranks to try out.

"Nee-chan!" Natsu had squealed the moment the door creaked open and her sister stepped through.

"Imouto," the girl had greeted, almost tiredly. One could tell pretty easily that she'd had a long day. "You're still up? And who's your friend here?"

I silently surveyed the girl while Natsu introduced up. She and Natsu were definitely related. While she was a few years older than Natsu, she shared her messy, strawberry blonde curls and rosy cheeks. Her eyes, however, were a soft mint green.

I quickly learned that Noguchi Asami was the polar opposite of her sister in terms of personality. Where Natsu was rash, loud and somewhat violent, Asami was friendly, kind and welcoming. She had a very motherly aura about her and I found myself relaxing more in her presence.

I could see why Natsu adored her so much.

"Stay as long as you like," Asami told me, accompanying her words with a delicate smile, echoing Natsu's words after she grasped the situation. I hadn't told them much. Only that things were a bit tense at home and my mother wanted me to spend a few days at a friend's.

I knew instantly that Asami understood exactly how tense by the look in her eyes. She knew of the atmosphere between the Uchiha and the village. I don't think Natsu quite understood. The angels that they were though, neither of them commented on it.

"Come on," Natsu called, taking my wrist firmly and dragging me deeper into her apartment. "I'll show you where the toilets and shit are and where you can sleep. Also, you're not taking my bed."

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I had forgotten the exact date of the Uchiha Massacre. Maybe I'd known it once but I'd long since forgotten it.

I knew it now. Or at least, the date of when it happened in my timeline.

( _An_ _anomaly_ _. A_ _glitch_ _._ _You're not supposed to be here._ )

In my timeline, it happened on July the 21st, late at night. I thought there would be a big commotion. Some big spectacle, a huge life-or-death showdown between Itachi and me where I, as a reincarnated spirit, say a bunch of mysterious, foreboding words foreshadowing his fate before he finally ends me.

Perhaps this 8-year-old brain does affect me more than I realised. In hindsight, it was pretty stupid. In reality, it would've been quick, fast. Itachi was skilled and a pacifist at heart. He would've made it painless. I might not have even known he was there until I was in the afterlife.

It wasn't the worst way to go.

But no.

I'd woken up on July the 22nd, sprawled across the futon Natsu had laid out for me on the floor by her bed. I had looked up and wondered drowsily where Natsumi had gone. Her bed was empty.

The thought was enough to make me get up and wander into the kitchen. Maybe Asami made breakfast. I wouldn't put it past Natsu to have heard the call of food and ditch me to go eat. More for her after all.

You know that awful feeling you get when you walk into a room and the people stop talking and look at you? That mixture of dread and anxiety as you realise, _yeah, they are definitely talking about me._

I really didn't need that feeling but I entered the kitchen and Natsu and Asami both halted their conversation to stare at me. Asami was unreadable. She was already a ninja, after all, and had been for little while now. She hid her emotions well.

Natsu looked stressed though, like she didn't quite know how to proceed. It stopped me in my tracks because, _shit, I've never seen that expression on Natsu before._ Her jaw was set but her eyes really struggled to meet mine.

Then Asami's eyes started to well up and something heavy dropped in my gut.

It took me a moment. I was slow, but not stupid.

Asami reached out for me, then hesitated. She had only met me last night. She didn't know how to comfort me.

I let out this noise in response, a odd, sort of pained gurgle as I stepped back.

Natsu didn't like hugs. But that morning, she greeted me with one as I let out a small, pathetic wail and sunk to my knees.

I knew it was coming, I'd always known, but it hurt all the same.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I was ashamed to admit to myself that it wasn't the fact that they were dead that really hurt. It was the fact that I was still alive.

Survivor's guilt is a powerful thing. I'd felt it before, when I left my first life behind, when I realised that I got a second chance that my family, my friends probably didn't get. I felt it now.

I wasn't even supposed to exist in the first place, how was I the one to survive? Cruel irony, indeed.

The next few days were a blur.

I never saw my mother's body. Apparently, the Uchiha tradition is to cremate their dead. Less chance of their eyes being taken and studied, I guess. The compound was cleared of corpses and scrubbed clean of blood where possible.

I stayed in Natsumi's apartment and thought about my second mother.

 _Did I love her enough in the end?_ I wondered. _Did I make her proud?_

 _Her mother never talked much about her child,_ others said, _and when her husband died, she talked far less about anything. She barely interacted with her own sister after clashing so often with her sister's husband. Kaida was antisocial too, rarely interacted with other children besides that Noguchi girl. Itachi likely never knew she existed. A mistake, but a possible one, even for a genius._

I never responded to the theories.

They were just using me as an excuse. They'd placed Itachi on a pedestal, made him more than a human. Now they sought to use me, Itachi's seemingly first real mistake, to humanise him. Because they had to humanise him before they could demonise him and I wasn't interested in any of that.

 _Itachi likely never knew she existed._

But he did.

I'd walked home from school with him and his little brother twice.

Itachi had made many mistakes. He'd worked for that monster, he couldn't save his best friend and he'd ruined really any chance of his brother having a properly positively stable mental health but this? This was not his mistake.

 _Why am I here?_

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

It takes four days for me to muster the courage to finally visit Sasuke.

 _He's still unconscious,_ I was warned, _he's been through a lot._

I stood in the hospital lobby, hesitating.

 _Would he be angry?_

Sasuke had hated me from day one. I'd only met him twice but that much was evident. Would he be angry that, of all the Uchiha, I was the one standing here right now? That it was only because I _wasn't there_ that I survived? It was silly to worry about this now, he wasn't even awake to see me let alone get angry but some irrational voice inside me said this was it. If I visit him, no going back.

Back from what, who the hell knows... I puffed my cheeks out determinedly and steeled myself, heading straight for the front counter. I was being stupid and I couldn't afford to do that anymore. I couldn't afford to be slow.

"Excuse me," I called, pushing up on my tip-toes to see over the counter. The lady behind it paused and glanced at me. Immediately she plastered on a smile.

"Yes? Can I help you?" She asked in that sickly sweet voice adults sometimes use to talk to children.

"Uh, do you know which room Uchiha Sasuke is in?" I inquired. "Is he allowed visitors?"

Her mouth opened automatically to answer before she faltered. "W-Wait, you wouldn't be the new Uchiha clan head, would you?"

I blinked. I blanched.

"The what?"

"Are you Uchiha Kaida?" The receptionist frowned.

"Uhh, yeah," I answered slowly. _Holy shit, did she just say Clan Head?_

"I see," the receptionist said, a grim look settling on her face. "Room 341, on the third floor. If you get lost, don't hesitate to ask for help."

"Right," I nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, um, thanks. For that. Yeah."

 _Clan Head?!_

"So young..." I heard her murmur under her breath as I split away from the counter and headed for the third floor.

 _Don't think about it now_ , I told myself. _Deal with it later. Deal with this now and that later._

I found the room easily enough and slipped inside. There was no one else visiting. ( _What did you expect? He doesn't have anyone else_ )

Carefully, I took a seat in the large armchair in the corner, my eyes glued to his frame.

He seemed so... fragile.

Mentally comparing the image of him now with my memories ( _loudmouth brat, strong glare_ ), I couldn't quite equate the two. Pale skin, shallow breaths, bags beneath his eyes. In that instant, he was so small.

I pursed my lips.

No, he wasn't small. He was alone. Just like me.

 _Why am I here?_

Would he ask the same question? Would he feel as lost as I did when he wakes up?

 _Can I leave him alone after knowing that feeling?_

It was a stupid question. Of course, I couldn't. If I could, I wouldn't be here.

If I visited him, there was no going back. There was no escaping the consequences of what I did from now on. I could leave. I could run away or I could let myself die and canon would be safe but I also knew that I would be leaving this boy, this tiny, pale, fragile child, alone.

Or I could stay.

 _Nope, this is too much,_ I decided. Sasuke didn't even stir as I leapt to my feet and hurtled out of the room.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

Four months.

That's how many months I was older than Sasuke. Four measly months.

 _Four months is such a short time,_ I mused, _considering I had about a twenty-two year head start on everyone._

Yet it's those four months that made all the difference.

From what I could gather from the weird, political rambling I keep getting from people, there's a sort of Uchiha clan policy in place for emergencies. The particular statement I focused on was the one that states 'in such a situation that the Clan Head, the Clan Head's spouse and the Clan Heir ( _Fugaku, Mikoto, Itachi_ ) become ineligible to lead the clan ( _e.g. dead or defected_ ) then the right to lead falls to the eldest, eligible blood relation ( _so like a niece or something_ )'.

My mother was Mikoto's younger sister. That made me the niece of the Clan Head, cousin of the Clan Heir, and those measly four months meant that I was the eldest eligible blood relation. I was, in effect, the Clan Head.

 _Fuck. My. Life._

Well, legally, I would be Clan Head once I became a genin, and thus became considered an adult in the eyes of the village.

For now, I couldn't enact policies or act as the political representative of my clan and all that other political shit a Clan Head could do but I did have control over all the land, secrets, objects and riches that the Uchiha owned. Not only that, I was considered Sasuke's legal guardian.

People both inside ( _fucking Danzo_ ) and outside ( _fucking everyone else_ ) of the village would be vying for either my head, my eyes or just plain manipulation of the new Uchiha Clan Head who has not been trained one ounce in politics. The only people I knew I could really trust were either god knows where or were about eight years old and probably couldn't help me one bit.

Shit, I was not cut out for this.

 _Pale, fragile, small-_

Damn it.

I collapsed back onto my pillow and breathed.

Ok, I need a game plan.

 _Pale, fragile, small, alone-_

If I'm going to stay with Sasuke, if I'm going to be _alive_ with him, then I need to be able to protect us both.

If I'm going to live, then I'm going to have to fight for it.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

I attended a couple of sessions with a random Yamanaka to ensure I don't have any seriously damaging psychological issues (besides the obvious ones) but managed to avoid anymore beyond that.

I really didn't need psychics poking around in my brain.

In my free time, I trained. I trained everything, from taijutsu forms to flexibility to speed to strength to chakra control to stamina, everything. Everything I could remember from my mother's teachings.

Apparently Sasuke woke up from the genjutsu two days ago, just briefly, before quickly falling into a self-induced coma from the stress and trauma. I wasn't there. I was surprised at the sudden self-hatred I felt when I found out ( _I should've been the first person he saw_ ).

It was quickly crushed by training. ( _I need to protect us._ )

I trained since then. I trained for over thirty hours. I pushed my body to its limits.

I thought of my father, the one from this lifetime, Uchiha Akio. _I never saw his body, it was never recovered._

I thought of my mother, the one I had managed to love in the end only to lose, Uchiha Miu. _I never saw her body, it was cremated with the rest._

The training post shatters, wooden splinters lodging in my hands, but I don't stop. I move onto the next one.

I thought of my family, the ones I had left behind in the other world. _I died first, I never found out what happened to them._

I thought of my friends, they were probably living their lives now. _Did they grieve me for long?_

I am eight years old and I have lost everything.

I won't lose anymore.

Pain surges in my eyes and I cry out, staggering back as I squeeze them shut. I feel my knees give out under the stress of exhaustion and agony and I fall on my backside.

 _It burns._

When the pain finally fades, I am left on the ground, something warm running down my cheeks. ( _Blood? No. Tears. It hurts._ )

I don't need a mirror to know what my eyes must look like. Red and black, spinning endlessly.

"Uchiha-san."

I didn't hear them appear until they spoke. Was that a horse mask? Oh, ANBU. Ok.

 _Right_ , I think idly. _Of course I'd have an ANBU guard watching me. There's a big, fat target on my back._

"What?" I replied, albeit a little bitterly. The pain had faded but it left a soft, unpleasant ache in the back of my eyes. The world suddenly seemed a little too bright and I squinted.

Narrowing in on the steady stream of chakra flowing to my eyes, I cut it off and breathed out as world returned to normal.

"I've been ordered to inform you that Uchiha Sasuke is awake."

I paused. "Ok. Thank you."

The ANBU bowed and made to leave when I cried out, "wait!"

They paused. I squirmed awkwardly.

"Uh, I've been training for way too long," I started sheepishly. "I don't think I can stand up right now. Do you think... you could carry me? To the hospital?"

I didn't need to see past the mask. I could _feel_ his expression shift from bland nothingness to ' _really?_ ' in seconds flat. I scowled.

"Of course, Uchiha-san," they spoke smoothly, scooping me up. "Please hold on tight. I wouldn't want to drop you from over five storeys high after all."

"Yeah, s- wait, what?"

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

"Crazy son of a-" I screeched as the ANBU finally touched down outside the hospital. Some people looked over at the commotion but, at the sight of the mask, merely chuckled and went on their way.

Horse quickly slapped a hand over my mouth, cutting me off. "My, my, young ladies shouldn't swear like that."

"I'll kill you," I fumed as he let me down.

"Ja ne," is all he said before vanishing. I huffed and smoothed myself down before heading inside. I remembered where Sasuke's room was and headed straight there, pausing outside of the door.

No sound comes from inside.

I slowly pushed the door open, thanking every deity I knew that it didn't creak ominously, and peered inside.

He was awake, in a matter of speaking. Still as pale and small as the last time, but skinnier too. His eyes were glassy and hollow.

Broken.

"Sasuke?" I tried softly. Cautiously edging inside, I let the door click shut behind me.

His head swivelled towards me and a small frown graced his face.

"Who are you?" He muttered.

 _Huh?_

 _Wait... what?_

"Me?" I squeaked, wincing at the pitch my voice just reached in my surprise. "Don't you remember?"

I drifted closer until I was in arms reach. I was finally thankful of this tiny body, small enough that I didn't loom over him or anything.

"You're... that annoying girl..." Sasuke remembered slowly. "You're..."

I stayed still, not moving a muscle, as he carefully reached out and touched my cheek.

"You're alive," he said and the words seemed to bring him back a little. "You're alive."

I smiled sadly and took his hand. "I'm alive."

The hollow look in his eyes vanished, replaced with tears and he sniffled.

"I'm alive."

The dam broke and he cries out, tears and snot running down his face. He cries in the way only broken children can and I reached for him in return.

I climbed onto the bed beside him and we wrapped our arms around each other. He buried his nose in my shirt as he wailed. I cried quietly, letting out only the smallest sniffles as my tears streamed down my face.

We were not family. Not yet. We were the remnants of one. Shattered pieces of a portrait and broken glass. But we were alive. Neither of us knew why but we were.

And I didn't know about him, but I found crying with someone far more comforting than crying alone.

We were the remnants of a family but we could make do.

~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~

 **Boom. I'm starting to realise that I like torturing my characters wayyy too much. Like, I love them, but they need to feel pain for me to write this thing. Like, they're completely innocent and whatnot but I do need to break them so I can get in some nice character development, you know? Anyway.**

 **Also, some shameless self-advertising! I know at some I mentioned a Pokémon fic I was going to publish that I never ended up publishing (my bad) but there were a few complication with that storyline so I'm putting that on hold for now. I do, however, have two other stories I have published, both OC-inserts. One is a Magi fic called White Feathers, Black Wings and it's probably about the same level of seriousness as this. The other is a Fairy Tail fic called Home Sweet Home that I just published which is probably going to be the most vanilla of my stories so far. So, if you like either Magi or Fairy Tail and don't think my writing is complete shit, pretty please read them and tell me what you think?**

 **Ok, until next time,**

 **\- Dragon**


End file.
